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"All the world's a stage, and all

2
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Shakespeare really knew what

3
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:34,959
but then he would,

4
00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:37,999
This week, illusion and delusion.

5
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:41,319
We take a peek up the skirt

6
00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:44,959
and look at her pants in

7
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Me, me, me, me.

8
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Me, me, me. Nimanenah, nimanenooh.

9
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Nimanenah, nimanenooh.

10
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Me, me, me, me, me.

11
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Me.

12
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Me.

13
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God.

14
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Me, me, me.

15
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Nimanenah, nimanenooh, nimanenah.

16
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That's better.

17
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Hello, superstar!

18
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Beryl, darling,

19
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Now that's because I'm out there

20
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Now you know that, don't you?

21
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Actually, I am in the West End

22
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Sounds interesting.

23
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As it happens,

24
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How do you fancy a telethon?

25
00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:58,959
I...

26
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I don't know. Come on.

27
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It's with Terry Wogan.

28
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Perhaps I could read something

29
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:09,159
Actually, I think they were more

30
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WHAT?! Now calm down, Judy.

31
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It's good exposure,

32
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Well, not exactly, but you'll be

33
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You can tell them to get stuffed!

34
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So you'll think about it.

35
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'20 minutes, Miss Talent.'

36
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Typical!

37
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Unprofessional, amateurish,

38
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Don't run yourself down, Judy, love.

39
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Honestly, last night,

40
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You were half bad and half terrible.

41
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Thanks, Tony(!)

42
00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:49,959
Well, obviously, Terry Wogan

43
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He's offered me a telethon.

44
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What's the set-up? You give people a

45
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Well, I'd expect sour grapes

46
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After all, it can't be easy

47
00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:05,159
and having no lines

48
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Not for long, petal.

49
00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:09,959
What do you mean?

50
00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:13,959
I mean, sweetie, you better start

51
00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:20,959
Tony! Tony! Tony!

52
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,319
Hello, Hampton, how are things?

53
00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:31,959
Don't ask. I've been up the

54
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:33,959
I think she's going to have an op.

55
00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:34,959
That'll leave Benedict on his own.

56
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:37,959
My sitter's on holiday.

57
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,959
How tragic for you.

58
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She's picked up feline enteritis.

59
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God knows how and where from.

60
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Presumably from another cat.

61
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Actually, I do know someone

62
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Yeah, wonderful.

63
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:56,479
He stuffs them and then puts them

64
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You're sick, Sparkle.

65
00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,959
Not as sick as his cat. Ciao!

66
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:06,799
Hey, Tony, Tony, Tony.

67
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,959
I tell you what, Simon,

68
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otherwise, I'll tell everyone

69
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,959
The fact that you don't have one.

70
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Simon, you not successful

71
00:04:17,959 --> 00:04:21,958
The only coloured pills you pop are

72
00:04:21,959 --> 00:04:23,959
No, Judy drinks a lot.

73
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You lie a lot. You bastard, Sparkle!

74
00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:29,999
Christ! It's not

75
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,959
Yes. I'm playing the taxi driver.

76
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:34,959
Pathetic old queen.

77
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:38,799
Look, Timmy, would you do me a

78
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,158
Could you try...

79
00:04:40,159 --> 00:04:44,479
could you try not being really

80
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One of these days that Tony Sparkle

81
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,959
Hello, Beryl. Hello, er...

82
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:58,959
Telling me how to act. I was in

83
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,959
Course you were, Timmy.

84
00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,959
Actually, Gareth is a

85
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:08,639
We had him on the Wayfarers

86
00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:11,799
Do you know, Timmy, we had a

87
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:13,959
And you will again, Judy.

88
00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:20,639
I don't want to be

89
00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:21,959
No, the theatre is my life.

90
00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,479
I'm doing exactly what

91
00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:27,959
You're incredible, Judy.

92
00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:28,959
Er, Timmy?

93
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:34,959
While you've got your tongue jammed

94
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,959
Thanks. Tony, darling,

95
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,959
Die in pain! Thank you!

96
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:52,639
So, since we've got a

97
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:55,959
perhaps you'd like to tell me what

98
00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:01,319
How about the citizens

99
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:02,959
Dave? Chris?

100
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:06,159
John?

101
00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:07,959
A load of bollocks.

102
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,999
Thank you, Inspector Salford.

103
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:14,959
I am running the criminal

104
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This also applies to the recreation

105
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I'm afraid that the Pussy Galore

106
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due to the unfortunate arrest of

107
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So, I thought it would be rather

108
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to attend a matinee of the popular

109
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Is there any nudity in it?

110
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I understand the actors

111
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:42,639
And I would be very grateful if,

112
00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:47,959
This Cats?

113
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:51,959
Cat Flap. Cat. Andrew Lloyd Webber.

114
00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:56,959
Andrew Lloyd Webber, Sarah

115
00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:59,959
Er, 80?

116
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:01,639
That's very kind of you, sir.

117
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,959
Ten minutes, everyone.

118
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Have you seen the reviews of

119
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No. Are they good?

120
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Awful. Poor Flick(!)

121
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:21,959
Excuse me, everyone.

122
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,959
How about dismal?

123
00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:45,959
Thank you, everybody. Now apparently

124
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How many?

125
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About 11. God.

126
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But we are all

127
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And we are going to go out there

128
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because it is a privilege and it

129
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Bravo.

130
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And in reply, everyone, may I just

131
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:19,959
So? So, it's the big one - Arion.

132
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Bloody hell!

133
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It's a whole series of little

134
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I play the scientist

135
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and my wife just can't get my

136
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No-one's impressed, Tony.

137
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After The Wayfarers, I was the

138
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That's probably because in

139
00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:47,959
Great news, Tony. We're so thrilled.

140
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Well done. No-one's listening, Tony.

141
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:52,959
We're all theatre people, here.

142
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:55,639
We love the theatre.

143
00:08:57,000 --> 00:09:02,799
The management regret to announce

144
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:06,959
the part of the taxi driver

145
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:07,959
Never heard of him.

146
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He's only the understudy.

147
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:15,959
No, no. It says here that

148
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He also did a tour of Canada playing

149
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He's a martyr to his mischievous

150
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:26,999
Ooh, and he was Constable Wilson

151
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Constable Wilson,

152
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,959
I remember him. Which one's he?

153
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:34,959
He's the one that's not appearing.

154
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So, we're watching

155
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:39,959
Shh!

156
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:40,959
(Elaine Paige.)

157
00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:07,959
What a long drive across

158
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:12,959
Yes, it's 17 miles to Bodmin,

159
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I expect the crow is grounded

160
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Aye. If the fog sets in,

161
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I do hope we haven't made

162
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Of course not, darling.

163
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After all, Penny and Roger

164
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And, after all, I'm a doctor,

165
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Yes, of course, you're right.

166
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I'm just being silly.

167
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Be a dear, John,

168
00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:48,959
Just because I work for your father,

169
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:52,159
doesn't mean I'm your servant,

170
00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:01,959
I do apologise.

171
00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,959
Just look at Judy.

172
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:05,159
She really is staggering.

173
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:08,799
That will be the gin.

174
00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:15,959
Cheer up, John. We're all

175
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:20,959
I wonder if there's anything

176
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:22,959
What's this?

177
00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:26,959
A dangerous convict has

178
00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:29,959
Bodmin prison? Isn't that near here?

179
00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:32,319
No, it's miles away.

180
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If any convict should manage to

181
00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:49,959
Take me to my room, Roger.

182
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:52,959
Give us a hug, everyone.

183
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,959
Every time I do this part,

184
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It's like an onion,

185
00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:03,959
I thought you milked the

186
00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:06,959
No, you catch the audience

187
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:10,959
leave them hanging on the cusp, ride

188
00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:14,959
Kiss me!

189
00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:24,959
John, how could you?!

190
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,959
Mary! She means nothing to me.

191
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,479
It's you I love!

192
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It's a nightmare,

193
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Dear!

194
00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:58,959
John!

195
00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:02,959
John, John, my husband.

196
00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:05,959
And my best friend.

197
00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:09,959
Is there no way out of this hell?

198
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:12,959
Not even a little cat flap?

199
00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,959
Hello, theatre bar.

200
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:28,959
Yes, Beryl.

201
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:32,959
Miss Talent may operate the phones

202
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,959
but she'll be partially

203
00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:37,959
by the remaining members of

204
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:40,959
and the Honey Monster. Yep, got

205
00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:43,959
I thought you were my best friend.

206
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:46,959
Tell me it isn't true, Penny.

207
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:51,319
Who can that be? So far away from

208
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:03,959
I'm sorry to trouble you,

209
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:06,959
but I was out looking for a prisoner

210
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:11,959
and my van crashed in the fog.

211
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:15,959
Penny, put the kettle on. I'd better

212
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:18,959
NO! It's OK, it's fine. Really.

213
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,319
Thank you.

214
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:25,959
So, did you talk to the Arion people

215
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:26,999
Did I? You know you did.

216
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:31,959
I helped you workshop those

217
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:35,959
Doesn't ring a bell.

218
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:40,639
Do you want me to beg?

219
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:48,959
Ice and a slice, madam? No, cheery!

220
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,959
Be cheery! Cheery.

221
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:53,479
Ice and a slice, madam?

222
00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:55,959
Diction! Remember diction!

223
00:14:57,960 --> 00:14:59,959
That's most kind of you, sir.

224
00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:02,959
Relax, breathe in...

225
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:06,959
Be with you in a minute, sir.

226
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:12,959
A madman on the loose and a stranger

227
00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:16,959
As soon as we have a cup of tea,

228
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:18,959
This is some happy new year!

229
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:21,959
And whose fault is that, you swine?

230
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:25,639
Steady on, Penny!

231
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:28,959
If we all just calm down a little

232
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,959
Quite right, old girl.

233
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:33,959
It's almost midnight.

234
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:40,319
Let's all have a cup of tea, put on

235
00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:43,959
Perhaps the new year will bring

236
00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:45,999
to our mixed up lives.

237
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,159
Perhaps...

238
00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:12,799
So, let's use this as a hypothetical

239
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:17,959
deduce from the information

240
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:20,999
That's very kind of you, sir.

241
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:26,959
You don't recognise me, do you?

242
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:31,959
I was in the box office, earlier.

243
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:34,959
Yeah, you've got to be

244
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:39,959
I can do box office, bar,

245
00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:42,959
And you should see

246
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,959
Be with you in a minute, sir.

247
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,959
Or perhaps, Penny Wigson?

248
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:50,959
Chris? Dave?

249
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:53,959
No Elaine Page?

250
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:56,319
No, not today.

251
00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:57,959
But I've had 'em all in here.

252
00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:03,959
Tony Hopkins, Peter O'Toole,

253
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:07,959
People say to me,

254
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:13,959
Keep your hair on,

255
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,959
So, any ideas at all?

256
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:19,959
About anything?

257
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:22,959
It's obvious.

258
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,959
Yeah, definitely.

259
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:26,959
That's interesting.

260
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:30,319
Anyone bothered by the fact that

261
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:34,959
Now, what can I get you, sir?

262
00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:49,639
My God! He's been shot! With a gun!

263
00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:51,959
Everyone, keep calm.

264
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:57,479
Is he dead? John! Darling John!

265
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,479
God, she's really going

266
00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:05,959
My God, he's been shot!

267
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,959
By a gun! Everybody, keep calm.

268
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:12,959
Is he dead? Yes, you bloody idiots!

269
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,959
By a gun! Everyone, keep calm.

270
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:17,959
Is he dead?

271
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:20,959
Come on, Judy, love,

272
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:23,959
As I said before,

273
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:27,999
Mary, weren't you going to say that

274
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:32,959
Someone here really is a murderer!

275
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:34,959
Look, everyone stop the play!

276
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:36,959
She's rambling, she's lost it...

277
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:38,319
It's Tony, he's dead!

278
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:40,479
Put the house lights up!

279
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:44,959
Bloody hell!

280
00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,959
He really has been shot!

281
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,959
Tony! Darling Tony!

282
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:52,959
For Christ's sakes,

283
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:56,479
Anthony Sparkle was one of the

284
00:18:56,480 --> 00:19:01,159
A tragic loss to live theatre and a

285
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:03,959
His later work...

286
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:08,959
That won't be necessary, madam.

287
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:10,959
Now, we've here a crisis situation.

288
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:15,999
It's a very good opportunity

289
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,999
What's the first stage

290
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,159
We tell the training officer to

291
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,959
Sit down, Sally!

292
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:29,959
Right, all you nancys, stay put.

293
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:33,959
Watkins, round up everyone

294
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,959
I beg your pardon,

295
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:39,959
I am. Inspector Salford,

296
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:43,959
I really think the public courtesy

297
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,959
Shut up! Keep an eye on him,

298
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:52,959
I'm taking charge of this

299
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,959
Chief Inspector Galbraith

300
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:58,999
For God's sake,

301
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,959
The play is over!

302
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,959
Tony is dead!

303
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:05,959
So, will I be doing

304
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:07,799
Hold on,

305
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:08,959
I know you.

306
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,959
It's the Irish taxi driver.

307
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:14,959
Yes, I've worked

308
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:19,639
Barry the barman from the Dominion.

309
00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:22,959
His vodka and tonics were said to

310
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:25,959
There was Phil,

311
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:28,159
I could tell you some stories

312
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:31,959
Excuse me, would you two come with

313
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:40,959
Someone used the cover of the sound

314
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:42,959
And now he's dead.

315
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:45,959
Tony!

316
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:48,959
God, I need a drink.

317
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:51,959
Come off it, Judy.

318
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,959
He cast you aside like

319
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:56,799
he bought at a penny bazaar.

320
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,959
For God's sake, Basil,

321
00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:03,959
I know, but rather well delivered,

322
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:09,479
So, Miss Talent, are we to take it

323
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:13,639
Yes, it was after the Wayfarers.

324
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:16,959
He wanted to act and I gave him

325
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:20,959
I loved him then and, however he's

326
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:22,959
But, Judy, darling, what about me?

327
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:26,959
Timmy, Timmy, Timmy,

328
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:29,639
you're just a boy.

329
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:33,959
It was fun, it was sweet, but

330
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:37,959
Am I the only man here who hasn't

331
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:39,959
I think that's irrelevant,

332
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:42,959
All of us here had a motive to

333
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:44,959
That's the line from Act Three

334
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:47,959
What do you mean,

335
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,959
Will there's Simon

336
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:52,959
Tony was blackmailing him

337
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:54,959
What drugs problem?

338
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:59,959
Exactly! You were paying Tony to

339
00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:01,959
Bastard! I'll kill him.

340
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:05,479
Too late, love, but then

341
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:06,959
What about you then, Basil?

342
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:10,959
Hold on, hold on, I'm just

343
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:12,999
I'll take it from the top.

344
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,959
What about you then, Basil?

345
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:17,959
We all know you loathed him.

346
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,479
Nonsense, we were old friends.

347
00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:22,959
Really, Inspector,

348
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:27,959
I've got one cat was a tummy upset

349
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,959
Don't try and

350
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,959
You never forgave Tony because

351
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:37,639
of Widow Spanky in

352
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:41,959
No, he didn't! Yes, he did!

353
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,959
At the Croydon Leisure Centre

354
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,959
Starring Ed "Stew Pot" Stewart.

355
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:49,959
Certainly a motive for murder.

356
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:53,959
All right. All right! I hated him.

357
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:57,959
Night after night, I watched him

358
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:02,959
whilst I languished stage left

359
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:06,959
That's a good one, lads?

360
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:12,799
Sorry I took so long, sir.

361
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:16,959
Sit him down, Watkins, whilst I get

362
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:19,959
Singing? Sarah Brightman?

363
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:21,959
Bravo!

364
00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:27,159
So, if I may recap. You, matey,

365
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:30,959
No, but then neither is Sarah.

366
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:32,959
So, what do we make of Sarah?

367
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:36,959
Chris? Dave? John? No?

368
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:39,479
Well, I suppose I might

369
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:42,959
Tony promised to get me the

370
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:43,959
in the Aryan commercial.

371
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:45,999
Slut!

372
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,959
Together, we made it work.

373
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:49,799
The characters lived.

374
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:50,999
They were real!

375
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:54,799
Then as soon as he got the part,

376
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:56,959
Yes, I wanted him dead!

377
00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,159
But not as much as Timmy.

378
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:01,959
Timmy, now there's a turn up.

379
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:04,959
How does he fit into our

380
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:08,959
Timmy hated Tony, because

381
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:10,959
and worse than that,

382
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,959
whereas Timmy was just starting out.

383
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:15,959
That doesn't sound very convincing.

384
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:17,959
Too angry? You're right.

385
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,959
I'll try it again.

386
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,959
Timmy hated Tony because...

387
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:24,959
It's a lie!

388
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:27,999
I've done plenty of great work. What

389
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,959
What about She Stoops To Conquer,

390
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:32,959
Anyway, you've got to believe me.

391
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:35,639
I could never kill anyone,

392
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:37,959
And Pisces!

393
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:39,959
He's quite right.

394
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:41,959
He's a bit of a gardener as

395
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:43,959
Any other theories?

396
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:45,959
How do we know it wasn't suicide?

397
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:47,959
Tony would have done

398
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:49,959
That's enough!

399
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:55,959
Hello. Now we're into a firearm

400
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:57,959
Shut up, everyone!

401
00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:02,959
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

402
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,959
Me! Judy Talent.

403
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:07,959
Any ideas now?

404
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:15,959
Back off, everyone!

405
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:16,959
You probably think I'm mad.

406
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:19,959
Well, perhaps I am.

407
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:22,959
You don't know what it's like to be

408
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:26,959
and the next you're pushing 40

409
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:28,959
Actually, there were

410
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,959
Apparently the Honey Monster's

411
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:33,959
so you'll be behind a Dalek instead.

412
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,959
Not now, Timmy! Where was I?

413
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:39,959
The phone isn't ringing.

414
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:41,959
Yep, yep, yep.

415
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:45,959
All the world's a stage,

416
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:48,959
but I didn't have any lines.

417
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:52,959
And then Tony came along

418
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,999
I felt like a leading lady again.

419
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:59,959
But then... I was written out

420
00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:03,959
I lost him and I found the bottle.

421
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:07,959
And then there were all the stories

422
00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:09,959
There weren't any.

423
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:11,479
Not one!

424
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:13,959
I knew I'd hit

425
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:18,319
when I couldn't even get a piece

426
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:19,959
Let me tell you, BUDDY!

427
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:24,479
It's a long walk from

428
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:26,959
And I took a cab!

429
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:39,959
Judy, Judy, Judy,

430
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:42,959
it was pure magic. An honour!

431
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:44,959
Mwah, mwah.

432
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:48,959
Judy, you shone like

433
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:50,959
Mwah!

434
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:55,959
Of course, not quite how I would

435
00:26:55,960 --> 00:26:57,959
A bit eggy all round.

436
00:26:57,960 --> 00:26:59,959
You're too kind!

437
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:02,959
Very sad.

438
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:05,959
A moving story, Miss Talent.

439
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:07,959
Yes, but it's not true.

440
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:09,959
What?

441
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:11,999
Miss Talent couldn't

442
00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,959
Because I did.

443
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:14,959
Why, Reg?

444
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:17,959
Well, it's obvious. I'm not a fool.

445
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:21,639
I know the real glamour's not in

446
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,639
With Mr Sparkle out the way I

447
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:26,959
To play John Parker?

448
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:30,959
No. Mr Duval would naturally

449
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:34,959
I'd get to play the taxi driver

450
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:37,959
You're a very, very sad fellow, Reg.

451
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:40,959
And what you say to

452
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:43,959
OK, so what if he did kill him.

453
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:47,319
I'm damned if the bloody barman's

454
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:51,479
I admit it.

455
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:53,799
I didn't kill him.

456
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,959
It's just another sorry chapter

457
00:27:56,960 --> 00:28:00,959
of an actress who's lived

458
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:03,959
who's travelled each

459
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:08,959
but more, much more than this,

460
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:11,959
I did it and I must pay the price.

461
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:14,959
It's all over, Reg Drewitt.

462
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:18,639
La commedia e finita.

463
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:28,959
No.

464
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:32,959
I think I've sprained my ankle.

465
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:39,959
So, once again, old-fashioned

466
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:40,959
Turner?

467
00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:45,959
It only remains

468
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:50,959
Hands up, foreign chummy!

469
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:55,959
I arrest you on suspicion

470
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:56,959
Irish!

471
00:28:56,960 --> 00:29:01,319
♪ Murder most horrid

472
00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:04,999
♪ As strong as a smoke from a barrel

473
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:09,959
♪ As cool as the blade of the knife

474
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:15,319
♪ She's a stranger you love

475
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:18,959
♪ A caress could cost you your life

476
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:22,959
♪ And you wake in the night

477
00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:26,159
♪ Enormously torrid

478
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:29,959
♪ Murder most horrid